Me and My Big Mullet

I confess. I am growing a mullet. HOWEVER...not on purpose. I don't know if it's genetics (my daughter's hair grows the same way) my styling technique or what, but the back of my hair (from the nape to the crown) grows so much faster than the top (crown and front). It drives me crazy! In it's curly form the shape is basically even. It styles rather "bob-ish" which I love. But when I blow it out, or stretch it to check for growth the story is always the same. Long in the back, short up front. I might as well cut bangs! All the hair I envy is so long and even all the way around, it just makes your hair look so much fuller to have length in the front and crown.


What is causing this?!

I thought it was because of wearing high pony tails and buns. The logic behind this is that the pulling in the back was some how having a barbie effect, i.e. providing a constant stretch that encouraged my hair to emerge from its rooted shelter. But tension can't be GOOD for hair, so that can't be it.

Then I thought it was because I did most of my washing and conditioning in the shower. To wash my hair in the shower I have to tip my head back thereby allowing all the good stuff to settle on the back of my head thus making my hair longer in the back. But in actuality when I apply my conditioner I really slather it on in the front and I'm kind of lazy by the time I get to the back.

I currently blame my styling technique. I don't think I part it evenly. What should be evenly divided 25% each quartered sections end up being more  like two 40% sections in the front and two 10% sections in the back. So the twists I do in the front sections are a lot larger than those I do in the back and those front sections are treated with less sensitivity and care.

So now I divide my hair into a tic-tac-toe board with three horizontal and three vertical sections. this also allows me to pay special attention to my crown area, which is even shorter than the front. Knowing that it's more about retaining length than growing I think I need to take a kindler, gentler approach to my hair, especially in those areas. I mean it IS growing. I can tell by the un-henna tinted new growth. *sigh* it's just taking so much more time than the back.

Whatever it takes to grow my big, huge, healthy hair Imma "git 'er done!"

Sorry for the Bathroom pic. But I didn't realize it was a good hair day until I got to work =)

Patience....a virtue I lack

So I love hair blogs. I skim through them several times a day. I stalk www.curlynikki.com waiting for her latest updates. And the wonderful women who are featured and follow these blogs are inspirations to me. The problem that I come across with these blogs is all the HUGE AND GORGEOUS HAIR!!! I've been natural for two years now and my hair is not as long and big and wonderful as I want it to be. I want my big hair and I want it NOW! I just want my hair to grow grow grow!! This feeling USED to make me want to run out and get some weave. Big curly gorgeous weave. I did it a while ago to make sure my face could carry it. It totally can. So now I'm ready! Ready for my big hair! So I've accepted the Kim Coles Grow out challenge. I now have some of the most spoiled hair around. I'm researching the best moisturizers and routines for my hair. When I'm at work I can't wait to get home and it's time to seal my ends. My coworkers come in with their regularly updated styled hair and I'll wear the same protective tiny bun for days on end. I'm committed to this challenge. I want inches! I want them FAST but I am going to be gentle and patient. Soooo patient. Take every precaution and measure necessary. And stick with my healthy hair routines. As a matter of fact, I have to go now. It's Henna day!

True to Nature

It took a while but I've found that I am more comfortable and unapologetic about being natural. And the more comfortable i get the more "fuzz" i allow in my hairstyling. For example today I did a twist out that, due to the fact that i was late getting ready for bed last night and rushed through the twisting, is not as smooth and orderly as it has been in the past. But looking at it in the mirror all i could think was how obvious it is that I'm a NATURAL girl and not just a girl with a roller set who may have sweated out her perm a little. The extra fuzz has also made my hair bigger which is VERY much to my liking. (Still on the quest for huge hair.) Point being is that the curls I chased and envied used to be those smooth ringlets or gentle slightly latina-ish waves. Or big orderly pin up girls waves. I wanted my natural hair to be...not so...black.

Thank the sweet lord I've outgrown that! It's taken some time for me to come to terms with what MY hair is like and what MY hair can achieve. This new knowledge is also helpful in dealing with my daughter's hair. She has thick, gorgeous, almost sandy brown and tightly wound coils. The products that work on my thinner (boo!) looser curls do not work on hers. I achieve with a twist out the same results as I get when I BRAID out her hair. My hair soaks up product until it's full and then it becomes shiny, greasy and limp. Her hair soaks up product until it becomes dull and spongy. We share genes but..uh..TIME...has altered my hair. But now that I've REALLY accepted my most natural of natural hair I'm a better example to her. How could I expect her to love her hair when I would get frustrated that my twist out made my hair turn out like hers.

I had to tell myself "Shame on you mommy! Get over yourself and your narrow-minded perception of what pretty curls look like! You might as well just go back to relaxers if you're not going to love them as they are! Reality check. Our FUZZY, natural curls are beautiful too!" Now she's no longer afraid or embarrassed to go to school with her slightly shrunken wash-n-go. Her ponytails and blow outs don't need to "hang down". She takes great pleasure in telling the straight haired girls in class that her hair can do LOTS of different things and theirs can't. She can have straight hair if she wants to, and the next day maybe curly and then ponytails and then braids. I'm so proud of my baby's self-pride. (I think it's easier to rein in an inflated ego than it is to build up a shrinking violet.) And I'm proud of myself for conquering my 30 some odd years of brainwashing to become comfortable enough in my own skin and hair to make sure that she does the same.

VIVA LOS NAPS!!

Am I a Hypocrite?!!

I love my natural hair. I'm very proud of it. However....I am not attracted to men with dreadlocks. So...does that make me a hypocrite?

Am I the Only Person With a Folder JUST for Pictures of Hair?

 I want this HUGE gorgeous hair!!

 Love the fullness!

 Something I'd Like to try

 Diva Curls!

 If I'm patient I can achieve this with my wash 'n go...but usually i touch it and fuzz it all up.

 My summer hair survival plan...Back to braids!

The curly on the right is so me...she's NOT me but that's so me. More hair!

 

 I will not bleach it but i LOVE this look

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GROW HAIR!! DAMMIT! GROOOOOW!! please =)

Too cute! have to try this

My inspiration to just let my hair do what it do.

http://euphoricstinge.tumblr.com

My Big Chop Story

So my number one obsession right now is my hair. I've been natural for a little over three years. I first went natural when I was pregnant with my daughter. Then it was all braids and ponytails. I ended my pregnancy with a glorious crown of big thick hair. How would all that hair look straight and "beautiful"? I had to see. So I permed it. I don't know if I lost both the length and the thickness because of the perm or if my mom was right and babies take it all back once they're born. Either way I ended up with the same womp-womp length of sad brittle hair I'd had since high school.

Then I got pregnant again. Being pregnant with my son was...challenging. There are NO pictures. I was a HOUSE and refused to be filmed, photographed or otherwise gazed upon by human and non-human eyes. I don't remember what my hair looked like. The whole pregnancy was pretty much a blur of nausea, fatigue and being so fat I could see my own cheeks just by looking downward. So I'm pretty sure what happened there was that I PULLED my hair out. Thankfully he was a healthy preemie because I couldn't take much more beyond the 26 weeks he was in there.

Fast forward past our lovely and perfect happy family days and on to the divorce that happened a year after my son was born. My husband wasn't a horrible man. He was just very, very, VERY..."unmovable". The day he left I walked into the bathroom and had my very own waiting to exhale moment. I took the clippers he had left, started in the middle of my head (so I couldn't chicken out) and buzzzzzz!

The first few weeks were liberating. My mother recognized my cut as a sign of stress. My sister told me I was "bad ass". Coworkers were neither here nor there about it in the beginning. My hair was small and unoffensive. Then the grow out began and my questions of "what the heck am I supposed to do with the teenie weenie afro?" The Kinky Curls products I had been using to smooth and tame my small curls started to make it feel gummy and crunchy at the same time. My curls became more difficult to organize and tame. I soon realized that it wasn't that my hair was more difficult, just that the routine and style I used on my brush length hair wasn't effective on my slightly longer hair. After reading a few blogs and moved on to Garnier Fructis Curl and Shine (my budget option) and Miss Jessie's products which held and defined my curls.

After the initial grow out I started to get frustrated. My hair wasn't long enough to wear the big curly styles I saw online and in magazines. But it wasn't short enough to wear the cute little curly 'dos I wanted to either. The Miss Jessie's made my hair too stiff and the Garnier was making it too puffy. I needed something more creamy than Garnier but lighter than Miss Jessie's. Accessories didn't seem to satisfy me. I couldn't get the curls right. I thought to myself that maybe a relaxer or even "just" a texturizer would make things easier. My frustration almost made me give in. After MORE research (you gotta love blogs) I settled happily into the world of Carol's Daughter. There I found pomades, creams, lotions, oils, all the wonderfully smelling highly effective products I, a product junkie, could hope for. My ambition was renewed and I backed away from the chair and the creamy crack.

Now I'm even MORE natural and very satisfied with my routine of using shea butter and coconut oils. I seldom use anything to wash or even co-wash unless I have product build up. And since trying only ONE henna treatment three weeks ago my routine of buttery twist outs is so effective that I rarely have to use water to style and define my curls. I plan on making henna a regular part of my ritual. First Fridays used to be for clubbing. Now it's for henna. I love love LOVE henna. But that's another post.

There were a few minor set backs and frustrations but I am SO glad I didn't give in to the draw of the creamy crack. I feel more beautiful than ever and I've never been happier with my hair!

Welcome!

Ok so i've started this blog for several reasons.

1. I want to join the Grow Out Challenge as inspired by Kim Coles via www.curlynikki.com (LOOOVE that site)
2. I need to have a blog that people can read that focuses less on me whining about how awful my love life is.
3. I feel like a new person and a new person deserves a fresh new and positive start.

So here I am! I plan to feature all things about me exactly as I am. Things I love. Things I'm concerned about. Things I'm obsessed with. I welcome your input. But unlike my other blogs this one is all about positivity. So if you don't have anything nice to say...say it on my TUMBLR!